Having head trash is normal for everybody – it’s only human nature. Human beings are naturally equipped with brains that are capable of sophisticated thinking, and naturally we are built that way so when there is a problem we can solve them. However, the difficulty arises between separating actual problems and potential problems. As a result, we tend to worry ourselves with problems that aren’t actually problems. It is important to be aware of potential challenges that may arise, but until they come up, they are really only just possibilities. Notably, there is a probability that such possibilities may happen, but there is also a probability that such possibilities might not happen. This is when you begin to overthink and analyze an idea, instead of something that actually needs to be analyzed and solved. And most of the time, we don’t realize it when we’re overthink. This is part of having “head trash”. It’s really important to be aware of head trash when you have it, because you can then realize when it’s best to clear your head and focus on what’s real and tangible at the moment. And enjoy the moment.
Being in the moment and owning your feelings at the time is what’s most important. It’s the very basis of happiness. It’s also one of the hardest things to do in life if you’re a thinking person. We shouldn’t ever get ahead of ourselves, make assumptions, and be fearful of something that might not actually happen in the future or at the time. That phenomenon is called: “being paranoid”. It’s unrealistic, because it is intangible and all happens in your head…at the time. That is head trash. While it’s important to be aware, don’t let head trash ever get in the way of your happiness.
A few eventful things have happened since the last update…well…
1a. Managed to grind my online bankroll up from $50 to $800+ within a week. PTR doesn’t show this because I won a ton of money from Double or Nothing SNGs which basically meant I was flipping my roll across multiple tables.
1b. Suicided my bankroll from $800+ to $5 within 2 days. Oh well at least I managed to sell off $360 to Jason so instead of being down $550 overall online I’m only down $190. (I deposited $550 to start)
2a. Coursework #1 is done with! It constitutes 50% of my grade and finally I’m done and dusted with it!
2b. I’m not quite that free despite it being Xmas. Coursework #2 is due in Jan…it constitutes 50% of my grade and I have yet start on it…
3a. I’m back in HK! Anne and I have been planning to “film some sh*t” over the xmas break for quite some time.
3b. I forgot to pack my camcorder >.< No wonder my suitcase seemed so empty when I was unpacking…
So far nothing has really transpired. Oh well it’s the experiences that count!
4. I’ve been watching a ton of movies, many not worth mentioning (like Time Traveller’s Wife. (If you haven’t read the book,) BETTER NOT SEE IT). Overheard was a really solid movie, but it was quite corny and a bit too ordinary for me. From a filmmaker’s point of view several scenes were really well done, but the movie was nowhere near as good as Infernal Affairs (IMO anne…). The movie just didn’t seem special at all. I did watch some great movies though. The Bow (Korean movie by Kim Ki-Duk) was a really interesting movie. I watched it with Vic and he agrees it’s one very disturbing, FUKTUP movie (we were under the influence though). Amadeus (1984) was a remarkable movie, for me at least since I love classical music (especially Mozart’s Requiem). There are several scenes I don’t think I’ll ever forget, and the acting was one of the best I’ve ever seen. I’m also starting to really enjoy Shunji Iwai’s movies, especially Love Letter. It has one of the most superb endings I’ve seen in any film. You should also check out 500 days of summer if you haven’t already. I reckon it’s one of the best movies to come out of Hollywood this year, definitely an Oscar contender IMO.
5a. Hit Ministry of Sound with Kenta and Ron on Wednesday to celebrate coursework completion. That was a pretty sh*t experience. There were too many people who just kept walking around the dance floor trying to find their friends. It was impossible to dance. Music was horrible too, stupid MC kept going “HOO HOOO” to the beat of songs (ruined many songs IMO), DJ was doing a crap job mixing, cutting out good songs (i.e. Fake Blood) in the middle for some Cheryl Cole junk. It was a sausage fest as well. I guess nobody goes clubbing on a weekday… and student nights are generally sh*tty. I’ve also never gotten body-searched for drugs before…and gotten caught reeding up by security…I suppose this made it all the worse.
5b. Hit Fabric with Vic and Kenta on Friday (2 nights ago). Now that was a good night! They came over first at 2am to wake me up (I was sleeping lol) and chat/drink/smoke a lil and then we left for Fabric at 3. Tickets are cheaper after 3 so we got in for half price. Although drum n bass & dubstep really aren’t my thing, for some reason it didn’t bother me at all! We were so high it didn’t matter! This is what clubbing is really about: the music! Not taking 150 photos to tag on facebook & trying to get drunk for a really sh*tty hangover! We left Fabric at around half 6, headed back to mine and chatted/smoked more, listening to really chill music (Deftones, Portishead). Then we went to a tiny cafe nearby at around 8 for some REALLY GOOD ENGLISH BREAKFAST. The kind old man who owned the restaurant gave us really big portions & loads of toast. The hot chocolate was sublime too. It was a great end to 2009 in London.
6. Sat next to Bauhinia (uni friend) on the flight back! It was good seeing her for the first time since summer. Didn’t get any sleep on the flight back though, it was still fun! This made me realize I’ve gotten so used to reed in order to sleep that I have trouble sleeping without it. (It’s also 6:30am right now and I’m not asleep)
7. The windows in my bedroom have been boarded up. It’s pretty damn depressing.
So what are my personal goals this xmas?
1. I aim to go to the gym regularly again. I stopped after summer because there wasn’t a gym when I went back to uni in September, and ever since I moved in to my flat in Barbican I have not been eating right (and couldn’t be arsed to really lol)
2. Play tennis regularly as usual…
3. Get my essay done! Also need to catch up on work especially French & Finance (I didn’t attend the last 8 hours of lectures)
4. Bankroll boost to + HKD15k before Jan 10 2009. Well, AT LEAST 9K+.
5. Wardrobe boost is also in order lol. Haven’t really shopped since summer.
I think that’s about all I have time for this xmas. HKD15k is definitely a bit of a stretch, but not impossible. I’m not PLANNING to film anything because I stupidly forgot to pack my camcorder, but who knows something might transpire. Well, I’ll keep updating so keep checking!